Thoughts on schedules

I've been thinking a lot lately about how John is on a schedule. I've HAD to think about it because complete strangers have been giving me a hard time about it. It's funny how people who don't even know you presume to know what is best for your family.

Anyway, there are some definite misunderstandings that abound. First of all, we don't make John wait 3 hours to eat. If he is hungry sooner, we feed him! We're not monsters, people!

We do wake him up every 3 hours to eat. This is the optimal schedule for newborns, as it is used for preemies and other babies with growth problems. Research shows it's not good for them to go more than 3 hours during the day. And if he slept all day, he'd be up all night. We think it's important for him to have his days and nights straight.

Anyway, most of the time this is a moot point, as he wakes himself up every 3 hours like clockwork to eat. He eats, then stays awake playing or just chilling for about an hour, and then goes back to sleep. It's a predictable routine for his benefit.

Some people say we're doing it selfishly to fit him into our schedule. To the contrary, we work our schedules around him. He's due to eat at 7:00 p.m.? Well, you can be sure he will wake up hungry then, and it doesn't matter if we've eaten yet or not, or whether we're at a restaurant or at home. That's when he wants to eat, so we put our dinner on hold. How is that us fitting him into our schedule?

Another misconception is that we are somehow not giving him enough physical love. The boy is plenty snuggled and played with and loved! It is quite frankly insulting to suggest that just because he will sleep somewhere besides my arms that he is not getting enough love and affection.

The best part about the routine, though, is that we know why he's crying based on where he is in a sleep cycle. I know if he's crying if he's hungry, as opposed to just crying because he is tired and needs a nap. So we can attend to his need and not have to guess, so therefore he doesn't have to cry that much. Isn't that a good thing?

None of this really matters, though. I'm explaining my reasoning, but the point is, I really don't need to justify why we're doing what we're doing. If it works for John, then isn't that all that matters? Not sure why a flexible schedule or routine is such a hot-button topic, but apparently it is! I just get tired of know-it-alls, but I guess having other people tell you how to parent your children is just part of life...